GODIS 26 jan 2018

ITALIENARE   i LONDON

The Manager
Y.M.C.A. Hotel
London, England

Dear Signor Diretorre,
Now I am tella you the story how I was treated at your hotella. I am comma from Palermo as tourist to London and stay as younga man at your hotella. When I comma in my room I see is no shit in my bed. How can I sleep with no shit in my bed?

I calla down the recepcione and tella: ”I wanna shit”. They tell me: ”Go to the toillett”. I say: ”No, no, I wanna shit in my bed”.
They say: ”You betta not shit in your bed, you sonnawabitch”.

I godown for ristorante for breakfast. I order bacon and eggs and two pisses oftoast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress and pointa of toast:
”I wanna piss”. She tella me: ”Go to the toillett”. I say: ”No, no, Iwanna piss on my plate”. She then say to me: ”You bloody fella not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch”.
Second person who do not even know me and calla me sonnawabitch! What is sonnawabitch!

Later I go for dinner into ristorante. Spoon and knife is laid out but no fock. I tella waitress: ”I wanna fock”and she tella me: ”Sure everybody wanna fock”.
I tella her: ”No, no, you don’t understand me. I wanna fock on the table”. She then tella me: ”So you sonnawabitch, wanna fock on the table?
Get your ass out of here”.

So I go to the recepcione and ask for the billa.I no wanna stay in this hotella no more.
When I have pay the billa, the porter say to me:
”Thank you, and peace on you”.

I say: ”Piss on you too, you sonnawabitch”.
I go back to Italy! I never more comma stay in your hotella, you sonnawabitch.

Sincerely,

Färskvara från Lawrence ( not from Arbaia )

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